Poetry, misery + other insights into bleakness.

There is a sea of hopelessness,

With water I can't tread.

I cannot walk o'er, nor try to swim;

Lest in seconds I be dead- Rose Carter 

Angsty poetry is not only a mild remedy to sadness, it also gives you this reminder that any person can create something beautiful out of sheer misery; depending on the language use.
And that's all well & good until you realise that the misery you face incorporates elements of absolute hopelessness. Nothing can be done to solve the problem, and nothing will soothe the pain.

So really, sometimes ambitions culminate in unavoidable failure. Sometimes, you know in advance that the odds aren't in your favour, and whilst carrying that burden, you still try to fight the odds, you still try your hardest to succeed, and you still have to endure the burden of seeing the triumphant ones wear their good fortune like a medal. Then the inevitable happens, and the weight of the world is upon you.

Tonight I faced a realisation; that two dreams I have may possibly culminate in failure most inevitable. It's disheartening to think of the times that those dreams made me happy, and now I think of them and the misery quickly engulfs my mind.

Is this the side effects of adolescence, or is it just that life likes to mess with you when you don't want it too?

Abstaining from Soy Sauce

It's a terrible shame when there's a perfectly good thing, and then something is added and then the good thing goes bad.

It's like having a big plate of donuts, and a bottle of soy sauce comes along and pours their content all over what was once glorious; leaving it to be desecrated and stained with yuckiness.

There's no way to get a replacement plate of donuts. You can get another plate of completely different food, but it's just not the same as the donuts you love dearly. And let's face it, you'd rather go hungry if it means that one day you can be with the donuts and not have to be scared of soy sauce. 

But by going hungry, you will suffer gravely. And to be without donuts or food in general, is a bad thing for your health and heart.

And didn't the soy sauce technically invade? What right did it have to be in your food? NONE. The food knows that something is up, and all the waiters in the restaurant are laughing at the expense of you and your donuts. 

You're in ruins... And all you can do is abstain from the soy sauce. 

It's probably for the best anyway; soy sauce tastes so bitter and it never belongs with donuts. Plus you don't need the extra sodium in your life.

That was an excerpt from a diary entry I tried to write last night. I've never been one to keep a constant diary, but last night, after a terrible afternoon, I felt I needed to just let it go. 

Aggression can be channeled into different things, depending on what you have. Some people I know use their aggression in productive ways; I just either eat/punch the wall/write diary entries about the despicableness of soy sauce. 

It's a good feeling to let your innermost insecurities out onto paper. Quite exhilarating indeed. And afterwards, it's either fun to burn or it's interesting to look back at from the future. But if the insecurity faces you everyday and it's stopping you from being 99% happy (nothing we feel is 100%), then you've got to do something. Start a revolution if necessary. Do what it takes to ensure you don't have your life ruined by a bottle of soy sauce. 

And if perchance, I have offended (this post + diary excerpt were all aimed at someone), think but this, and all is mended (to some extent anyway):

Everyone faces their own metaphorical bottle of soy sauce everyday. Whether it's a bully, coping with loss, an illness, a broken heart, insecurity or a third world problem, it's still there; pouring the distastefulness all over what should be good things in life. It's not fair to let others endure soy sauce against their will. And it's not fair to let the bitterness continue. Whether you choose to help the problem in one way or another is up to you. But when you intentionally allow things to escalate; then there's a level of hypocrisy behind any statements saying you care. 

If you have to share the bitterness with someone; work through it together. All the strongest things generally involve the word 'united' (United Kingdom, Manchester United). Nothing successful involves the word 'isolated loners'. 

The Road Less Travelled (and hello controversy!!)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;         5   Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,         10   And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.         15   I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.         20   The above poem by Robert Frost is not a poem that many would consider under appreciated. Rather it is the opposite. I've seen many an 'inspirational' Tumblr post with the last 4 lines of the last stanza gracing a blurred picture of natural landscape. In fact, I only looked up the poem today because I wanted to read the whole thing. It was rather disappointing to read the SparkNotes analysis of the poem and find out that the poet never actually took the road less travelled (http://www.sparknotes.com/poetry/frost/section7.rhtml). It certainly made me think that all of the hype over the 'inspiration' of this poem, the meaning behind the source of hype was hypocritical in some sense. So many people in this world have probably gone (or are going) through their lives doing the obscure things because they're "the road less travelled". One could go so far as to say that people who 'take the road less travelled' are living in ignorance of the hidden truth. Because isn't the poem called 'The Road Not Travelled?' But one can go so far to remind the other that in the most special of cases; isn't ignorance bliss? Remaining unaware of the truth is not the worst thing to happen to a person. Remaining in denial of the truth is by far worse. But the worst thing for a person to continue to do is remain forever unhappy because the road is rough. So perhaps ignorance about the meaning behind "the road less travelled" isn't so bad. Because if people go out of their way to do the alternative options, is that not life shaping in itself? It opens doors to new experiences and outlooks and that can make all the difference. And if you actually take 'the road not travelled', you're doing something that Robert Frost never did. And it's always good to beat the philosopher at their own game. In other news; an email was forwarded to me today by one of the best looking associates I'll meet. And it was about quite a controversial topic; the view of Islam. ****The email will be discussed now, so if you're easily offended or Islamic, discretion is advised. And if you're easily offended but you looked anyway, that was just a little bit silly. If you've got the capacity to continue reading without getting angry at me about something global; the italics font stuff is a direct quote from the email. The bold font statements are the things I want you all to think deeply about**** The email started with a story about a German guy from an aristocratic background. His family owned a bunch of estates and large industries. Then he was asked about how many Germans were true Nazis (the email said that his answer can guide our attitude toward fanaticism); "Very few people were true Nazis, but many enjoyed the return of German pride, and many more were just too busy to care. I was one of those who thought the Nazis were a bunch of fools. So the majority just sat back and let it all happen. Then, before we knew it, they owned us and we had lost control, and the end of the world had come. My family lost everything. I ended up in a concentration camp and the Allies destroyed my factories". The email then says we are told over and over again by 'experts' that Islam is the religion of peace, and that's what the vast majority of Muslims want to live in. This assertion is "unqualified" and also "entirely irrelevant and meant to somehow diminish the spectre of fanatics rampaging across the globe in the name of Islam". "Fanatics rule Islam at this moment in history. It is the fanatics who march. It is the fanatics who wage any one of 50 shooting wars worldwide. It is the fanatics who systematically slaughter Christian or tribal groups throughout Africa, and are gradually taking over the entire continent in an Islamic wave. It is the fanatics who bomb, behead, murder or honour kill. It is the fanatics who take over mosque after mosque. It is the fanatics who zealously spread the stoning and hanging of rape victims and homosexuals. It is the fanatics who teach their young to kill and to become suicide bombers." Regardless of whether you are tolerant of other ethnic groups or not a self defined racist, the statistics (in my opinion) proved to be somewhat familiar with what I see everyday. But the message didn't end there. Not yet. "The hard, quantifiable fact is that the peaceful  majority, the 'silent majority,' is cowed and extraneous. Communist Russia was comprised of Russians who just wanted to live in peace, yet the Russian Communists were responsible for the murder  of  about 20 million people. The peaceful majority were irrelevant. China's huge population was peaceful as well, but Chinese Communists managed to kill a staggering 70 million people. The average Japanese individual prior to World War II was not a warmongering sadist. Yet, Japan murdered and slaughtered its way across South East Asia in an orgy of killing that included the  systematic murder of 12 million Chinese civilians; most killed by sword, shovel, and bayonet. And who can forget Rwanda; which collapsed into butchery. Could it not be said that the majority of Rwandans were 'peace loving'? History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt, yet for all our powers of reason, we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of points: peace-loving Muslims have been  made irrelevant by their silence. Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don't speak up, because like my friend from  Germany, they will awaken one day and find that  the fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun. Peace-loving Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Rwandans, Serbs, Afghans, Iraqis,  Palestinians, Somalis, Nigerians,  Algerians, and many others have died because the peaceful majority did not speak up until it was too late. Now Islamic prayers have been introduced into Toronto and other public schools in Ontario, and, yes, in Ottawa too, while The Lord's Prayer was removed (due to being so offensive?) The Islamic way may be peaceful for  the time being in our country until the  fanatics move in. In Australia, and indeed in many countries around the world, many of the most commonly consumed food items have the halal emblem on them. Just look at the back of some of  the most popular chocolate bars, and at other food items in your local supermarket. Food on aircraft have the halal emblem just to appease the privileged minority who are now rapidly expanding within the nations shores. In the U.K, the Muslim communities refuse to integrate and there are now dozens of no-go zones within major cities across the country that the police force dare not intrude upon. Sharia law prevails there, because the  Muslim community in those areas refuse to  acknowledge British law. As for us who watch it all unfold, we must pay attention to the only group that counts= the fanatics who threaten our way of life. Lastly, anyone who doubts that the issue is serious and just deletes this email without sending it on, is contributing to the passiveness that allows the problems to expand. So extend yourself a bit and send this on and on and on! Let us hope that thousands world-wide, read this and think about it, and send it on - before it's too late and we are silent...... So here is my thoughts on this message; It doesn't exaggerate stuff. The halal thing is true. A lot of my favourite food does have the emblem. Fanaticism, regardless of the ethnic/religious group that forms it, is never a good thing. No one with a stable mind can appreciate a fanatic. The religious ones just irritate the society with stability, whilst the ethnic fanatics just reinforce the stereotypes that they'd not like us to believe. But we do anyway because we're all secretly/openly racist in one way or another. The whole "refusal to integrate" is somewhat true. There's riots, violence, terrorism and other political disasters in Egypt and other Islamic nations because: If fanatics aren't in power, then the fanatics in society are pissed off. And if fanatics are in power, then the people in their society are pissed on (not literally). And maybe that's why Communism doesn't really work when put into practice...... **And now dear readers, I'm going to discuss stuff on points 1-4, as well as add my opinions on other Muslim-y stuff. If you're bothered by honest opinions, then by now, it might be about time to go find another thing to do with your life; my blog shall always be full of them** If you look hard (or not very hard, depending on where you go), you can find a label in restaurants and on food that looks like Arabic script. That means that the product or anything sold by that company/restaurant is safe for Muslims to eat. They aren't allowed to eat certain stuff, so the label for them is a huge help. But for the rest of society, is that just catering to the fussy? You don't get a large, fancy label for products that contain allergenic stuff for the people that might go into anaphylactic shock. You just get a message; and that's nowhere near as cool as a label.  Green Day made a song called 'East Jesus Nowhere', and I've interpreted it as this: The song doesn't say that all religious people are insane. Just the fanatical ones, and the fanatics that get into politics. A fanatical person is defined by Google as: Filled with excessive and single-minded zeal  or Obsessively concerned with something. But fanatical people are predominantly so absorbed in enforcing the laws of their beliefs upon society, it becomes a matter of going to what society considers extreme. So it shouldn't exactly be surprising that an extreme includes getting into politics and taking their beliefs with them. And to the non-fanatical society, this is just annoying.  WTH??!!? If someone wants people to believe that theirs is the religion of peace, why are they not doing the peaceful thing and integrating? Does it not make more sense to integrate with other cultures and learn from them and thus gain wisdom and friendship? Because nothing good ever comes out of migrating from your old country to a 'different and new life' and thinking "Well this sucks, let's make this place just like home!"  From what I've seen on BBC News, there's a lot of disturbing political trouble in the Middle East. And we're not just talking about the Israel/Palestine thing; it's places like Egypt that display massive levels of violence, murder and rape... All because of fanatics that are displeased with society/the current way of politics. There are countless stories of people affected badly by the violence, and there seems to be no present sign of improvement.  It's sad but it's true that the non-Muslim members of society are mostly fuelled in their revulsion of all Muslims by what they see everyday and in the news. Until I got into reading the news, all I could really hold against them was the endorsement of the burqa and the terrorism.  The picture is starting to unfold somewhat for me, and it's upsetting to see. Because while in every ethnic/religious/racial/economic/sexual/gender group in society, you get people that are different to what the prejudiced define them as.  And then after living for a while in what the prejudiced call 'ignorance', you might be hurtled back to 'reality' by meeting a stereotype of the stereotype. Then you think "they [the prejudiced] were right." But each person, regardless of sexual orientation/race/religion/economic status/health/etc... is different. Their stereotype does not always have to define them. And if that is how you identify everyone belonging to the stereotype, then you might need a reality check.  I don't want you all to finish this and think that I hate all Muslims. I don't. But as a person with  strong opinions, I do believe that it's only fair to voice this; I don't mind what you are or what your belief is. I don't mind if you like men or women or both. I don't mind if you're a man or a woman or a kangaroo. I don't mind where you came from. And I don't really mind if you're rich or poor. But once you do/say anything against myself, my loved ones, my beliefs or anything I hold dear; then I won't oppose you because of what you believe or anything like that. You will be personally persecuted because I think you are an idiot. Your status/belief/sexual orientation/race will have nothing to do with it. And it is on that note that this post must end before I lose all my readers... And I value you all too much.  Any comments relevant to this post (nothing offensive please) would be great. Or if you have a post suggestion, that too would be delightful.

Memory Box

The best use of a box (aside from turning it into something like a car or a space helmet) is when it is used to store memories. Whenever I do anything memorable, I get something that doesn't decompose and will remind me of that moment in time, then I put it in a box. And at the end of the year, I put it away after extensive decorating.
So far I have two physical memory boxes (from 2012 and the expanding one from 2013). But when you include other types of memory boxes, I have four; the other two being my heart and my brain.

Unless you use extensive surgery, you can't really put physical trinkets into your memory box brain or heart. Doing that is crazy anyway.
But you can leave memories such as thoughts, places, faces, the smells of those with the faces.... And if you've got a heart memory box (that can also conveniently pump blood), then you can leave the memories of people.
I believe that an impression of someone is not one that changes, but not one that lasts. You remember them at various stages as they progress through life with you, but sometimes we hold on to the impressions we liked the best. Maybe that comforts us if we don't like what we see now. Maybe it reminds us that the person of ages past used to be something entirely different.
Regardless; when we hold on to the impression of someone, we usually do it because the change in relationship with that person, is seen as a bad thing by us. And we never want to let go of that person because we liked the way their impression made us feel.
Which can be a bad or a good thing, depending on the impression they leave upon us right now.

I like to go through memory boxes (the physical trinket-filled boxes) because I can remember the good times I had at various times in my life. I like to do that because not only is it important to remember the past, but because I like to look back upon fond memories. And I like to look upon the memories that weren't so fun. They remind me that obstacles can be overcome and that it's always darkest before the dawn.
But sometimes among the ticket stubs and past (passed) notes from friends, a face in a photograph stands out and I remember the person (or people) in the picture, and I'm reminded of the impression I used to know. Whether or not the person has changed since then is all a matter of "it depends", but looking at the impression can be either heartwarming or heartbreaking.

Then one day, whether it's tomorrow or in the months to come, you'll see the person who made the impression upon you.
Hopefully, that person (depending on who they are/were) is in your life in a place they deserve to be. Whether they are out of it, or still making good impressions for you... that's really up to you.

Vivmarie1407

PS: I have to offer my apologies for this big-ish emotional outburst. I only decided today that the impression of somebody I know is one I'll hold onto forever; regardless of what happens in our futures. 
Needless to say, I had to release the emotions/supposed philosophy somewhere. So I'm sorry if massive emotional posts aren't your cup of tea. 
Maybe you'd prefer another (less emotional) drink? Then keep observing the blog; as always, the best is yet to come. 

Fire Fighting 101 (plus there's a demon in my bedroom!)

We've all surely heard the expression "fight fire with fire"? And if you do, it should be known that fighting fire with fire is never really a good thing. Because the message behind the expression is you're responding to something by using the same method (e.g.: someone mostly ignores you for days on end and you respond by ignoring them until they get the message).
But then again, sometimes a little fire never hurt. Because after an extensive Google search, I found out that fire is literally used to fight fire (forest debris that could aid forest fires is burnt to prevent extensive damage later on).

Somehow it seems more practical to fight fire with water. The message behind that is to respond to something with a cool and reasonably balanced approach (e.g.: someone mostly ignores you for days on end and you respond by continuing on with life as normal). But what if there's something that keeps the fire burning, no matter how much water is spilt over the situation??
Then sometimes you have to take the "karma" approach and fight fire with fire.
Whatever you do, never resort to fighting fire with kerosene.

"Fight fire with kerosene" is not an expression one hears normally, because expressions like that are stupid. The message behind that sheep dropping of wisdom is that you respond to something by making it worse and bigger (e.g.: someone mostly ignores you for days on end and you respond by setting them  on fire).
It's going to take a lot of water to sort that problem out. But you'll have been burnt in the process and that's just a little bit sucky... Especially if they're third degree burns.

That's just my thoughts on fire. You can fight it with water, fire or kerosene, but if you know that there's a fire with potential to escalate in size before it eventually dies, it's important to fight it now in a manner that is right.

Vivmarie1407

PS: I was cleaning my bedroom floor and I found something odd. It was all dry and I thought for a second it was a caterpillar or a demon skeleton (???) but upon further forensic analysis, it turns out that it's just a dead gecko.
Perhaps it's just me that thinks it'll be great to bring in for show and tell tomorrow at school.....